unitS of LANGUAGE

last post for 2008 or ever?

2008-12-29T16:26:00.002+08:00

Two more days, and that's it.
Remember how we were taught that TIME IS GOLD or PRECIOUS that sort because we can never turn back time? Well, it took me a while to understand that but humans being humans, we just don't learn.

I have been missing so much, especially this year. Of course, along came some transitions where priorities changed, lifestyle changed... for the better I hope. Made a lot of new friends, whether in terms of hanging out ones or close ones. No doubt, I spent less time with my old buddies whom I used to hang out a lot with. Theres the saying of friends come and go, but every departure leaves an unhappy mark. Just like I was saying, time is the essence.

Overall, it has been a year where I cried alot (for all sorts of reasons), ate a lot (which explains the increasing clothing size), in emo mood for 24/7 and bad health issues. It wasn't that all bad, really. I do believe God has been incredibly kind to me. Admist all the issues, I managed to get employed after university, had a bunch of wonderful colleagues, awesome church with awesome people and of course, the ever great God by my side.

I'm sure it has been either a bad or a good year for many. As for me, I remember the bad memories more than the good ones. I am still going to insists that it was a good year for me. I do need the transition, a whole new life with new friends and workplace. Pondering in the past is good to learn from mistakes, but looking forward is the only way you can make the most of your life.

I do not intend to blog anymore. Many times I got hit back from what I wrote down here. It has been a good blog, where friends that I no longer keep in touch with actually reads my blog, and I am utterly amazed! I like writing, and I tend to write more when it comes to my emotions. Its time to keep such writings in private.

Thank you for all your support in keeping my blog alive by writing in some comments now and then.

Have a great 2009, as I'm sure I will have a blasting good year ahead!

super random thoughts.

2008-12-16T20:32:00.002+08:00

(please be warned)

I want to get a digital camera (finally!).
Am looking at the latest sony. Any opinions on it?

Was fortunate enough to pump petrol at RM1.80/liter today. Hee hee...
Compensated for the last time!

I was driving home today and saw some kids playing at the roadside. Kinda brings me back to the time when I was that age, playing with the kids in the neighbourhood. And during those times, you always seem to favour this one boy whom you always play with. Its funny to think about it, how silly I was to think that we will walk down the altar one day together. *laughs*
Guess thats what you call puppy love, eh?

Talking about dogs, I wanna watch BOLT! And I cannot believe I have not seen it yet! Arghhhhhh...

I am so confused by PTPTN's repayment terms.

Training sucks. It was Rapport Building & Communication. But it felt like "Road to Self-Actualisation". Boring. Alot of psychology talk where they tell you things like "Believe and you will See". Tsk tsk.

I'm broke!!! I need a new working wardrobe!

I am working on Christmas' EVE and New Year's EVE when almost the whole world is on leave. I just hope traffic won't be too bad then.

I am yet to buy and wrap christmas gifts. Not that I do it every year, just that there are too many people I need to thank for the year. Then I think I need to get those gifts for those christmas parties which includes gifts exchange sessions.

Am looking forward to CNY! Miss you guys in IPOH! Can't wait to see you guys again!

*sobs* No wine for christmas this year =(
No christmas log too.

I am joining a gym in January! Why January? Because I need to clear my credit card bills first. And get rid of the stupid Maxis Broadband. And oo oo... I am getting my diving license in JULY!!! Woohoo! One of the things to look forward to in the coming year amidst the ups and downs in the financial market and banking industry. I really cannot imagine how bad it can be.

Okay, I shall stop scaring myself.

My new pair of contact lenses better arrive by next week. I need to claim it by this month. Desperately. I need a pair of shades too. I need to work hard, hard and hard!

I only got two years before attempting masters. I wonder where am I going to find the money for it. Financial freedom! When will you come to me?!

And... I think I have this teeny-weeny crush on someone *blushes*

updates 131208

2008-12-13T22:10:00.002+08:00

I have finally rotated to another division. Completing the review before that was a terrible moment for me, especially when the FC is so "friendly" when it comes to answering your doubts. I think I killed a couple of trees those two days. Did a lot of ammendments before finally sending it to branch management, only to discovered a major yet minor mistake. But, not too bad.

I also had some sort of appraisal with my team leader. Every rotation requires the supervisor to comment and also grant some "marks" on the job performance. This rotation, not so good. My marks were low, and comments from TL was pretty upsetting. Probably due to my messed up health, my emotions were overflowing. Imagine, I almost cried in front of TL when she gave her comments. What the...! I am (still) fortunate that I have an awesome senior who teaches me with patience and also always out there to "cover my ass", not to mention a cool and hip TL. I guess, its time for me to realise that life is no bed of roses. Sometimes, its so easy to say such things, but to actually deal with it, its devastating! There is still so much I don't know, and something in my mind keeps telling me that I am not in the right place. To give up, I refuse to. Well, at least not so soon. I cannot be a quitter. I have to keep trying when so many expect so much more from me. At least, show some results before quitting. Its probably a matter of pride, but I do not see anything bad about it.

No doubt, I am upset. And still upset after so many days and events. I really don't know how to improve myself. I feel stupid. ARGH.

Everything is just so messed up. Career, health and relationships. ARGH.

Lets not get to that.

2008-12-08T15:25:00.002+08:00

I am dreading for tomorrow to come.

I'm left with two days in the branch attachment. Honestly, am pretty excited to go to one of the support divisions for one whole month. That way I'll be able to understand all the tradelines purposes and functions better. On the other hand, its like a holiday! The bad news is, I have to rush this case of mine, which I finish the first draft two weeks ago. I am left with tomorrow, to at least get it done (which I think its pretty impossible unless I do not steal some time to STONE and leave home by 9pm) and get it approved! As in, at least pass through my team leader and branch manager. Then hopefully, it will reach head office to the approvals and I'll be able to do any more ammendments on wednesday.

But I doubt it.

Its a case on 6 companies in the same group and a highly sensitive industry at the moment. Plus, it needs the approval from HODs of both commercial and corporate banking. And of course, the CEO. *sighs*

feels like 10 years older

2008-12-07T20:53:00.002+08:00

I keep getting this:

"You are only 23 years old. You are still so young."

My bad.

It started out innocently with the usual friday night drinks. After a long (& busy!) week, you just feel tired naturally on friday, no? Somehow, I don't know how, I got home almost 11.30pm. Next thing I know, I am out again around 12.15am. Not bad huh, considering I have enough time to take a bath, blow dry my hair and do my makeup. It felt like I was already drunk before drinking any alcoholic beverages. I was so sleepy.

Music was... well, fusion, I shall say. We can hear bits of ABBA and Justin Timberlake every now and then. It was... I do not feel like elaborating it any further.

Then I slept for 4 hours, waiting for the maid to come. She was supposed to be here at 9am. Somehow, it got canceled. Spent the rest of the day doing nothing much till my eyes couldn't open anymore and had a brief afternoon nap. It was a bad nap. I woke up several times wondering abt the Bukit Antarabangsa incident. Then I left for dinner with the guys to KLIA to pick up KINGFU who came back for holidays. He still looks... the same. Skinny as ever. How come I'm never skinnier than ever? Jalan Alor was THE place as we were quite sure he was craving for some local delicacies. Chicken wings. Yummy.

This morning, however, I woke up with swollen eyes. Went church, people did comment on the eyes. ==" And I can still feel the tired-ness from friday night. Can you believe it. Spent the whole entire day with my cell as we have some house blessing thingy. Ate so much and stoned so much. I need to catch my sleep so badly. And I have a movie date in a while more. ARGHHH.

I am getting old! And without stamina.

2008-11-23T16:53:00.002+08:00

I was just going through "emily" and discovered how packed my schedule is.
Besides weekdays, which is mostly empty because 5 days a week are given to my worklife.

I am basically pretty occupied for the rest of the year.
Of course, there are still some non-activity friday nights available...

Its odd because I used to dread weekends. Due to certain reasons.
Now, the only thing I look forward to are my weekends!
Its the only time when I get to eat a proper meal with my family, see my friends, have some self-pampering sessions and also shopping.

That reminds me. Birthdays and christmas presents!

I am going to spend my first ever christmas in kl this time. I was given some options such as clubbing, uhm... and clubbing =/
People in kl don't dine?

2008-11-16T20:14:00.001+08:00

a friend quoted this,

I think every man is looking for this one girl that would make him a better man.

2008-11-09T20:39:00.002+08:00

What? No water this time?

WHAT!!!

I so do not need this right now.

*I pay my water bills on time!!

2008-11-03T20:29:00.002+08:00

@%@$$!!!

*screams*

How can so many things happen at the same time???

First, my air-con break down. Then the ceiling light went off. Suddenly, the cooking gas is finish. And now, my washing machine is down!!!! Not only those, all of a sudden I have to pay for a bill that I don't even know what I am paying for!

Basically, I think the air-con ran out of gas, therefore, there is only wind, but not cold air. I don't know how much will that costs. Then the ceiling light. It cannot be settled by just changing the starter or the bulb. It is caused by the poor work of the technicians when they did the wiring a few years back. I wonder how much will it costs. Cooking gas, oh well, that probably costs about rm40. Just that I keep forgetting to call and end up cooking with the extra slow hot plate. My washing machine just went down. I don't know why, water just wouldn't go in. And I have so much clothes to wash! Then then... the stupid water bill came. Apparently the bill during the renovation (2 years back!) is not settled yet. Now, they sent a letter. And I don't know why am I paying it! My dad offered, but what's the difference!!! I can't let my dad pay for something that he has nothing to do with it at all.

Arghhh!!! And its only the beginning of the month! I still have my rental, credit card bills and stupid expensive maxis broadband!

2008-11-02T19:35:00.003+08:00

What is love to you and how do you measure it?

Being single and not being in love with anyone at the moment do help in giving a fair view.

I was at one of the churches where the stage performance "Crazy Lil' Thing Called Love" was played by some of the local acts, Footstool Players. For those who missed the "free" performances in churches, you can always watch them at KLPAC for RM30, which is worth the money (to my opinion) and do support local acts!

Almost everyone that goes church would have heard of it. Since it is a topic that interests young and old, I am not surprise that everyone is talking about it. I personally thought the title was pretty catchy as it reminds me of one my favourite song with the same name. True enough, that was one of the songs played.

Yes, love is a crazy thing. You'll do things out of your mind, behave the way you never thought you will and sometimes, ur mind get messed up.

The play potrays women and men in a witty and yet, very real in a way. I will not disclose the stories here as nothing compared to watching it yourself. However, there is one particular story that I wish to share. Coming back to my question, what is love and how do you measure it? Do you fall in love in hoping to be loved in return? Do you do things and expect the other to do the same? Do you keep track on how much you did and see if the other did as much as you did, to balance it off?

Many times, we do not realize it, but we do actually keep track of all we did. We expect to get our love in return or even the little things we might do for the other. So what is love then? Is it just a trade where both sides wants to win?

Love is not measured by the amount of time you spent for that person, or by the things you do, or even by the gifts you buy. It is far beyond that. Love is more than saying "I love you". How I wish love can be measured, in quantitative form. Life would be so much easier then, wouldn't it? But what is love if we humans can measure it? What's love without some mysteries?

So, what's love to you?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

remembering

2008-10-27T20:05:00.002+08:00

Memories,
light the corners of my mind
Misty watercolor memories
of the way we were.
Scattered pictures
of the smiles we left behind
smiles we give to one another
for the way we were.

Can it be that it was all so simple then
or has time rewritten every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
tell me would we?
Could we?

Memories,
may be beautiful and yet
what's too painful to remember
we simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter we will remember
whenever we remember
the way we were.

I was just driving through some old, familiar roads. Miraculously, I remember almost every situation at the different places. I laughed at myself on how good my memory is when it comes to not so important things. As I waited for the lights to turn green, I looked around and remember the moments I used to have at the exact spot. Moving on, I saw the stores and restaurants I used to go to and the people I've been there with. I saw the houses that I used to hang out a lot. The roads I used to walk on. But I just couldn't bring myself to go back to that one place. Its just too hard.

MEN!

2008-10-20T21:36:00.000+08:00

What is in their mind?

No, this is not those guidelines-to-know-your-man thingy.

A friend's fiance just call off the engagement. Shocking? Oh boy, YES! They have been together for, about 6 years, I presume. Officiate the engagement early of the year and actually set a date for the wedding with just months away. All of a sudden, he just went over to her house and call it off. The reason?

I cannot make you happy.

Whoa. You call that a reason.

Girls are curious yet simple beings. You want a break-up, fine. But nothing is more important than the reason why. Its weird sometimes that guys think they can get away so easily.

So what are they thinking about? I became friends with this dude recently who happen to be in a four-year relationship, and oh, mind you, shes his first love. Guess what? He was well, not exactly complaining... I asked the ultimate question.

Do you want to be single or in a relationship at this moment?

The answer was obvious with his facial expression. He simply doesn't want to commit. I mean, already four years, and still not going steady? Then what are girlfriends for? Friends with benefits?

Men.

*grumbles*

i am changing

2008-10-18T22:41:00.002+08:00

Look at me, Look at me
I am changing
Trying every way I can
I am changing
I'll be better than I am
I'm trying to find a way to understand
But I need you, I need you
I need a hand

I am changing
Seeing everything so clear
I am changing
I'm gonna start right now, right here
I'm hoping to work it out
And I know that I can
But I need you, I need a hand

All of my life I've been a fool
Who said I can do it on my own
How many good friends have I already lost?
How many dog nights have I known?
Walking down that wrong road
There was nothing I could find
All those years of darkness
Looking for some light
But now I can see

I am changing
Trying every way I can
I am changing
I'll be better than I am
But I need a friend
To help me start all over again
That would be just fine
I know it's gonna work out this time
'Cause this time I am
This time I am

I am changing
I'll get my life together now
I am changing
Yes I know how
I'm gonna start again
I'm gonna leave my past behind
I'll change my life
I'll make a vow and nothings gonna stop me now

2008-10-17T23:34:00.004+08:00

Its true, you know.

You know how two people can drift apart because of differences? It doesn't only happen in boy-girl relationship as the same goes for family and friends. Do you remember the childhood friend you once had? Had some masak-masak games, tea parties with the dolls? Well, maybe not for me. I remember we used to hang out alot. However, I have trouble remembering what we actually did. At that point of time, she was a big part of your world. Then you grew up, going into primary school and thus, you are separated from each other due to the different schools. You next meet her in the same secondary school (eventhough you lived so close to each other!) but all changed. You have your friends, she have hers. Differences grew you apart from each other.

You then chose one from your many friends and stayed close to her. You shared thoughts, food, laughter and even tears. The differences were what made you both unique to each other, but it is also the differences that grew you apart from each other. Very soon you start disliking each other and did all you can to get rid of her. You fought and make a big hoo ha over it. Then you decided to stay in NON-talking terms for a couple of years. As the years passed, you grew up. So did she. A phone call away was all that was needed. It was also from there a new friendship blossomed. There are still many differences but she became one of those that you know you can always talk to whenever, wherever!

Next on, you continued your life journey, going through the many phases of life. The people you met, either they are just your HI-BYE friends, or probably some hanging out mates. From there, you again managed to find someone who seem to be able to understand you, or simply compatible. You helped each other along the way, doing things for each other like what every best friends do. You hang out so much together, having endless conversations and even so, you are never sick of the company. However, everyone have a different path in life. You both moved on, thinking that nothing will ever break the bond. It was indeed a test of time. When you finally meet up again, you already prepared the whole list to share and talk about because you do want to know about each other's life. But when the time came, you just became dumbfounded, you couldn't recite out the list of things. You just sat there, desperately waiting for time to pass because you are not comfortable at all. You both became two very different people, with different interests.

I had many good friends eventhough some may come to the past. I'll think about those times once in a while, remembering all the good times. I suppose life still goes on, though I do hope to get back those times again. I really miss it.

2008-10-16T20:55:00.002+08:00

As my days passed by, the more I wonder whether am I in the right place, doing the right thing. I do have doubts of myself whether am I in the field that I can excel in. I do take pride in a lot of things but at the same time, I am not as smart, as hardworking as the rest of them. I just don't see where I belong. I just can't seem to understand the accounts, the reason behind every term and also the way to analyze it. I don't know whether is it because I refuse to think or I just couldn't.

Looking at the way the market is now, is financial services really my cup of tea? Or maybe I should just do things that doesn't require me to think so much. What I mean by not thinking so much is that I do not have to know how to derive this figure and fundamentals of it and bla bla. Maybe I should join HR, since I prefer to meet people more. Or I should just sell credit cards where I just learn about the product and think of ways to sell it. I am not saying these jobs are easier. Its just that I am a very people-oriented kind of person. Maybe hanging out too much with financials is driving me crazy. Man, now I kinda wish I did accountancy instead. Life would probably be so much easier.

Back to the current market situation. Its pretty scary how we see banks in Malaysia itself holding back from new loans and even recruiting new trainees. Even doing annual reviews on the current customers requires much more attention than ever before. Which is pretty terrifying as I am so GREEN to the industry and I actually have to do it. Retrenchment probably will not happen (I hope!) as Asian banks are naturally more conservative. However, we are definately going to be influenced in some way. Its going to be a bad year and everyone will agree to it. So will next year.

I am in fact fearful as I realize the importance of savings. Like they say, CASH is king at times like these. Very real indeed.

on second thought...

2008-10-15T20:44:00.000+08:00

Well, maybe not.

I'll prefer the way it is now.

2008-10-12T12:51:00.002+08:00

I love my weekends. Well, who wouldn't when your weekdays are usually filled with appointments with your clients, colleagues and everyone else in the train.

It was however, an awesome weekend so far. I love staying in. People always asked, "Isn't it boring to stay at home the whole day?" *shrugs*

I am a self-motivator. I need to do things which I know I will be able to maximize my self-satisfaction. Simple things like spending time reading a good book over a cuppa, watching a good movie, or even listening to my favourite music album.

But of course, I do believe in meeting other people. That is why I usually plan my weekends ahead. Its not flexible, no doubt. So, I will not plan a whole day affair just in case for any last minute events. So my weekends are filled with at least one event. I need to open my mouth and talk too.

2008-10-05T20:43:00.002+08:00

Good morning! Its a wonderful Sunday morning, don't you think?

I woke up at the sounds of the cleaners arriving at the front door, my mom's usual morning chatter and this song in my head:

A cigarette that bares a lipstick's traces
An airline ticket to romantic places
And still my heart has wings
These foolish things remind me of you

A tinkling piano in the next apartment
Those stumblin'words
That told you what my heart meant
A fairground's painted swings
These foolish things
remind me of you.

You came,You saw,You conquered me
When you did that to me
I knew somehow this had to be

The winds of March
That made my heart a dancer
A telephone that rings
But who's to answer
Oh, how the ghost of you clings
These foolish things
Remind me of you

2008-10-04T15:49:00.002+08:00

I didn't have a single drop of alcohol for the past two weeks. I am so proud of myself :) I am staying away from it all until the end of the year. Or maybe by christmas. I better make up my mind fast.

Next week will be another first day on the job. I'll be moving to Medan Pasar branch coming friday. Pretty excited with the fact that I am finally going to do some real work. Not so excited that I will have to go through the "first day trauma" all over again. Are the people nice? One thing for sure, I do not have to worry about food at the area. So much good food, which also means lots of buses and cars. Air pollution to the max.

And oh, I AM GOING FOR MAMA-MIA THE MUSICAL in december!

feeling sheepish

2008-09-27T16:55:00.004+08:00

My command of language sucks. Whether it is English, BM or Cantonese.

A friend pointed out during dinner. Malunya... Plus hes not someone I meet up often. I don't know him that well somemore. I think I should go for english lessons.

How was your week?

Mine, amazingly, past by just like that. My workload is getting heavier, but I enjoyed it because I understand more now compared to the first two weeks. I had insufficient sleep the whole week. Probably due to the crazy previous weekend I had. I also had nasi lemak... 3 times in a row for breakfast! I think I am going to turn into a pig soon.

I went for my first cell meeting this week. I like it a lot. Think I am going to try to be a regular.

I almost forgot that lots of my friends read my blog. Even the ones I have not seen for ages. I am talking about my ex-schoolmates. I was shocked when one of them told me that they do. And I think I should pay more attention to what I write in here. I cannot afford to have too many people asking me questions. Especially YOU guys. You know who you are.

*laughs*
I am definately having one of the best time in my life right now.

2008-09-25T20:44:00.002+08:00

It was a stressful day indeed. I did 7 companies today. The last one was the worst. Contract financing. OMG.

However, something else made my day.

He wrote about me.

The only problem is, do I want him to?

Lucky?

2008-09-22T21:34:00.002+08:00

Do you hear me,

Talking to you

Across the water across the deep blue ocean

Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams

I feel your whisper across the sea

I keep you with me in my heart

You make it easier when life gets hard

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes

Waiting for a love like this

Every time we say goodbye

I wish we had one more kiss

I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

Lucky we're in love every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea

To an island where we'll meet

You'll hear the music fill the air

I'll put a flower in your hair

though the breezes through trees

Move so pretty you're all I see

As the world keeps spinning round

You hold me right here right now

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

Lucky we're in love every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

I guess I was lucky. In every way. All the happy moments. All the heart breaking moments. I thought I'll be stuck there forever. I was lucky in a way to went through all those. I promise that I'll never forget you but I had enough. Its time to lock up the memories, throw the key away and hide it, never ever taking it out again.

I think I am happy again =)

2008-09-21T12:14:00.002+08:00

It has been a tiring weekend. From friday night onwards.

We had a MA/FL gathering and was introduced to our seniors. It was an eventful evening and I will not publish any of the pictures here. No way. Anyways, I ended up pretty tired on Saturday, almost slept in church and had to skip partying with some of the peeps and went to Alexis instead. Haha. But at least I fulfilled one of my wishes for the month!

Whats left? Apple strudels and Mama-mia!

LC/BA/TR/SG and etc

2008-09-18T20:14:00.003+08:00

ARGHHHHH

Me do not like trade bills. Its COMPLICATED.

How am I supposed to structure for my customers when I cannot even understand it?

Arghh.. I am left with two weeks to learn it. I don't think I have enough time.

2008-09-16T19:57:00.002+08:00

First it was Bear Stearns. Now Lehman Brothers. Even Merrill Lynch is having some troubles on its own. I secretly wished that someday in the future I can be part of Merrill Lynch. I know, I am not near to investment banking at all. But everyone are allowed to dream right?

Back here in Malaysia, we have all sorts of news everyday whether in the morning or at night. People rushed for the morning papers and TheSun became a popular choice. So what will it be tomorrow?

2008-09-14T18:07:00.003+08:00

Its been a while. I finally got my own internet connection.

Its mid-autumn festival again! I remember yakking about it last year on this blog itself. This year felt totally different compared to then. I was still a student then, trying to pass all my papers. Now, I have become a banker. Earning my own money, living on my own. No longer asking dad for money but instead tries to give him some every month.

All these blast from the past seems so surreal to me. I guess I haven't really moved on eventhough I have been working for 3 months now. I missed the things I did, the food I had (the many times I had the awesome fried rice), the place and the people. Everything I do now is just so different. I eat different kind of food, I don't go out to mamak, I stop going to the movies and I even have less time to daydream!

Arghh.. I hate the feeling. Its similar to what people might call it homesick, just that what I am missing is not exactly my home. Yes, I do have to admit that I miss you guys in uni. Please, lets try to meet up once in a while?

Anyways, I came up with a new wishlist. For the current month. I really think I should have one every month. Motivation, to drive me move further every month.

September's WISHLIST
1. Watch Mama Mia!
2. Apple strudels
3. Wanna go for a local jazz performance

Well, thats about it for the month. Have a plan and work towards it. Hopefully its good news when I do my month-end review!

2008-09-06T16:24:00.002+08:00

I'm sick. All over.

I am stuck with a flu bug that never seem to get enough of me. I had stomach cramps for the past whole week. Wonder what I ate wrong. *thinks*

My mind is losing focus. I don't know what to do, what to eat, what to buy. I should sleep more. I think I stoned too much during my journey to work and back. Its the same everyday.
Traffic jam. Squeezed into LRT. Walk. Work. Lunch. Work. Walk. Squeezed into LRT. Traffic Jam ++.

Could my life get any better? I dread the cars but I want to live in a city.

I am such a troublemaker.

Back to being sick. My bank account is sick. I wonder when will it be healed.

I think I am sick. As in, I cannot stand myself. I think I am overweight, fugly and stupid.

So, how do you feel today?

2008-09-01T17:47:00.004+08:00

My one week branch attachment was not all exciting. Probably only on my first day. The rest of the four days were practically sitting down and became a part-time receptionist.

I went for Avril Lavigne's The Best Damn Tour in Malaysia. It was pretty last minute as I was informed I could not get free tickets at 4.30pm and 30mins later, there were tickets available. I rushed, fought the crazy friday jam, got lost (don't ask me why) and picked up Sue. It was drizzling but we didn't care. We started the night with "Hey Hey You You, I wanna be your girlfriend!" and of course the ever famous Complicated and When You're Gone.
And guess who I met! Andrew Lee, my recess partner from my form6 days. I remember him singing Happy Ending almost everyday then. I have not seen him for... 4 years, I think. Sue said I practically jumped and hugged him. *laughs*

Saturday was my convocation which I dreaded going to. Was supposed to have dimsum for lunch but somehow, waiting for my whole family to be prepared, one might mistaken that it is their convo, and not mine. Ended up in ampang park for lunch which I hardly took much because of the stress. No, I wasn't stressed out about convo, jus family issues. *shakes head*

I reached there late, with everyone had their robes on and the thing on the head. I don't know what is it called. I was like... SHIT! Rushed here and there. I hid my clutch under my robe as we were not allowed to bring any bags into the hall. *laughs* One of the PICs saw that and warned me to hide it properly. What was in my clutch? Erm, powder case with mirror (VERY important), blotters which even the guys took some from me. It was blotters with powder! Talk about vainity. Then I practically crapped and practiced some of my broken mandarin just to pass time. I didn't manage to take pictures with many people as it was packed and I couldn't find familiar faces. So, I took with a few and cabut as my whole family looks bored and tired and hot.

with the girls

the parents

the reason I attended my convo

the bro-in-law

Awesome

Dinner was celebrated the American way where we were like an American family with burgers, chips and soft drinks. Carl's Jr. was the top choice for the night. However, the real celebration was held on Merdeka's Day itself at Rakuzen, Chulan Square. I treated my family. I am officially RM450 poorer.

Merdeka's Day was also Pohli's birthday where me and Sue have planned long ago to surprise her by gathering the CF peeps at Cheras. I realize KL is awfully quiet on Sunday nights.

As my parents are still around, I took them to tea at Delicious, BVII to compensate to my dad for not taking him to hi-tea on Sunday. My dad is not a fan of jap food. We took the awesome traditional tea set.

*gasps*

I got presentation tomorrow and I am not prepared yet. SK is soo gonna kill me. Real work begins on wednesday. *sobs*

Merdeka weekend

2008-09-01T01:38:00.002+08:00

It has been an eventful weekend.

A lot planned for the coming week.

So much to do and so little time.

Would like to share more but I think I'll wait till I get the photos to make it more interesting.

Till then, have a good Merdeka weekend, folks!

came and gone

2008-08-30T22:37:00.000+08:00

That's it.

Goodbye.

And hello.

2008-08-26T22:36:00.002+08:00

Its hard to believe that its been almost 4 months since being a uni student.

Its finally my convocation this weekend. Something I look towards since day one in university.

Its sort of like the convocation is the closure of my uni life. Or should I say the closure of one of the most significant chapter of my life.

Am I ready for this? Am I ready to move on?

what has been going on

2008-08-20T19:37:00.005+08:00

Some of the things we did throughout the boring classroom trainings...

Newsflash: Gideon Chan passed away due to a car accident. He was a student in Utar PJ. Met him during CF camp last year. Sadly, I only have vague memories of him. Kinda makes you think more about life when you realize someone you knew eventhough not close, went home to the Lord. People might think, what a waste to die at young age. In a way, maybe.

But to think deeper, he ran and finished the race that was planned out for him. I hope that will be my testimony one day.

On a happier note, I am going to be attached at Kota Damansara next week for the whole week!!!! I am very happy because I can sleep one and a half hour more. WooHoo! However, I will have to answer the checklist given to us, do a branch observation report, and an assignment which we have to present the coming week. Where am I going to find time to prepare as the weekend will be packed. Thank God, SK is attached at the same branch. I don't know how to do flow chart using excel. Thank God for engineering students! *smiles*

Classroom trainings are boring. Fortunately today there was something familiar. Forward contracts. Interesting. Treasury products. Boring. Except for the gold bars. The rest, I dozed off. I couldn't help it. Mr Ho was totally talking to himself and didn't even give any eye contact! The two MAs in treasury, an engineering and accounting student. Shouldn't they give it to finance students instead??? But I cannot make it into treasury. Haha. No life. Don't kill me, SK and David. I cannot imagine my life by waking up middle of the night to check the international market. Plus I am not smart enough to be there. *laughs*

And shout outs to two special couples, KingPui & Megan and HooiLi & Paul. Congratulations on your engagement! Too bad you guys are at overseas =( Please update us with pictures from your parties, yea?

2008-08-18T19:46:00.000+08:00

luncheon with CEO

2008-08-16T17:13:00.003+08:00

How was it? Not too bad. The food sucks though.

The day started with the arrival of HODs and also our director and CEO of UOBM. We were then handed our PDP and introduced to our mentors. It was as if I was practising for my upcoming convo. Went to the front, shook some hands and received the big file. Our mentors then took us to our respective divisions. For me, I went to the 7th floor, COMMERCIAL BANKING DIVISION. My mentor introduced the functions and the basic details about the division. Apparently our division is focused on three main branches namely, Medan Pasar, Jalan Othman and Klang.

Please don't send me to Klang! So far...

Anyways, back to my PDP. My whole 15months, where would I be stationed, what will I be doing, what will I have to learn, what will UOB EXPECT me to learn is stated in the whole file. So basically, I'll be rotating only at 3 places, HQ, Medan Pasar and Jalan Othman. Looks like next month onwards I will have to take public transport instead of driving. The only available parking spaces at HQ is pretty far away and I will have to walk very very far. what if I have to stay back at office? Er... no thanks. Also Medan Pasar, I doubt theres a place for my car. *sighs*

Taking the lrt is tiring =(

Some pictures from the day.

goofing around with some of the HODs

(l-r) celine, moi, HODs: oon, alex, sowyoke, kan, yong, mike and shilin

the three MAs in Commercial Banking

the whole team

(l-r) front: mike, celine, shilin, me, zing, amy, singpei, aiyoon, dany

back: sk, hk, kk, kevin, david

missing from the picture: faye, justin, ben, vivien, daniel

The corporate bankers were warned to keep their alcohol consumption level high. A few of the HODs agreed to that even for us commercial bankers as we will be dealing with lots of SMEs. The good news is we will be invited to drink whenever the singapore management comes over for their annual meeting or don't know what. I am alcoholic, I know! I seriously need to go on a strict diet regime which includes lots of healthy food and exercise. I want to take up salsa. Woohoo!

2008-08-12T18:51:00.004+08:00

I change my mind pretty fast. Yesterday was all the motivational talk and thoughts. Now? Negative thoughts!

I think I am so not financially stable. I want to buy a car. Mine is breaking down, maintaining it kills me. How? I don't know. Perhaps I should stop driving to work. Perhaps I should skip lunch and dinner everyday. Or just eat plain gardenia bread. But thats fattening. Dilemma dilemma. Or maybe I shouldn't go out socializing. Or flirts with men to get them to pay for everything. But I don't want to be like that! How to choose between your principles and lifestyle?

Training is going to be in federal hotel the whole week. I do not like it there. The toilet sucks. Always cannot flush. I met nicole and phooi mun at training as they are part of the PRIVILLEGE BANKING MANAGEMENT TRAINEE or PBMT. What a small world.

I am looking forward for tomorrow as us MA/FL get to meet with our CEO and also our mentors! The Personal Development Programme (PDP) will be handed out to us tomorrow too. I think I am more anxious about that. Its going to be my plans for the next 15 months in UOBM. Apparently I have to be focus at all times tomorrow as in, cannot daydream or just stone. We are supposed to ask our mentors questions, get to know them and all throughout lunch. We'll be going to our respective divisions too! I'll probably see lots of AAs in my division. Haha.

2008-08-11T19:26:00.002+08:00

Do you remember when was the last time you procrastinated?

I remember mine. I think it was an hour ago.

I mentioned about the motivation classes I had last week. Honestly, I always think motivational classes are bogus. I never really like attending such, but I supposed as age is catching up, you'll think quite differently. I am really motivated to change the way I am living my life right now. Theres a lot of changes and I do not expect things to happen in a snap. I am taking things slow, with God's guidance of course.

What are the areas I want to change? Well, basically physically, emotionally and spiritually.

PHYSICAL
I want to be fit. Well, will still try to succeed in my weight loss program but I will not cut down my food intake drastically. However, I do skip dinner as I am too tired and lazy to prepare or even buy food. I think its alright because I eat a lot throughout the whole day. What I will try to pursue is to eat healthier, take more greens and less meat, less salt and sugar too. Alcohol consumption, hmm... I will try to cut down, slowly.

EMOTIONAL
I got to face it. I am an emotional creature. I do and say a lot of things randomly. I do things according to my feelings often too. I am going to try to practice using my head more than my heart. People and situations that I tried running away from, I guess now its the time to end it all.

SPIRITUAL
I want to build a closer relationship with God. I want to focus more on serving in church in any ways I can, spend more time with God's Word and also fellowship with God's children.

How should I start? I think with a new template for my blog for a whole new look. Guess its time to get rid of old pictures and put on the new ones! Probably later. Wait till I get my pictures.

Am I procrastinating again? Oops.

2008-08-08T21:38:00.002+08:00

PROFESSIONAL ETTIQUITE & GROOMING

2008-08-06T19:47:00.005+08:00

We drew some pictures today.

My vision of the future.

I drew a study room of mine where I have a big bookshelf. On the floor was a doggie bowl as I would like to have a dog in the future. When I am married, that is. On the wall, pictures of my family and kids, appreciation certs from all sorts and also awards from my corporate career. There are also pictures of places I've been for mission work and the work done there. I really wish that would be how my study room looks like in 30 years time.

We did more on motivation and lastly, we were asked to face our fears. So therefore, we wrote down some of them in a plank board.

Haha.. .to name a few....

Then, HAIYA! *with a karate chop*

WITH MY BARE HANDS!!! Its not fake!

UOB MA/FL 2008

2008-08-05T20:35:00.001+08:00

It was our 3rd day...

happiness

2008-07-30T19:31:00.003+08:00

Yes, I am sad. Not only my emotions but so is my life. At times.

Would things be easier if I look at life simpler? I can have a million things running through my mind day and night but not able to come out with a solution. Sometimes my mind works hard even when I am sleeping!

Nightmares just make you grumpy. I don't know why. I hate having such dreams, dreams that I thought I have left behind long ago. When will they stop haunting me?

I need to feel God's love so much right now. Where is Him when you need Him the most? Standard answer would be: Hes always there, you just have to believe.

BAH. I already knew that answer. I knew it so well till it became like a knowledge. Its like consuming drugs will kill you. Its already something that was planted into the back of your head long long ago. I'll end up rationalizing. Isn't faith something that you cannot rationalize?

So there you have it, the fine line of faith and doubt.

2008-07-27T19:25:00.000+08:00

Why can’t that happen?

Why can’t it be easier?

Why must I go through all these?

Am I asking too much?

2008-07-25T22:59:00.002+08:00

Guess what I realized in the past two weeks?

My taste in clothes have changed.

Not changed totally, just different. I remembered preparing to go church and open my wardrobe and thought "What can I wear today?"

My going out clothes are so limited! Seriously.

Most of the clothes I used to wear, well, either missing or I just don't like them anymore. What is left probably less than 10 pieces of them.

Now I only buy working clothes. Boring, I know! I so need to get some clothes. At least I can wear them during the weekend. Zzzz...

I got so many stories to tell!!!! But think I'm too tired and slightly dizzy to think. Laters.

ocean waves and baked potato

2008-07-16T21:22:00.003+08:00

2008-07-14T20:02:00.002+08:00

I can kill someone right now, with my bare hands.

WHY IN THE WORLD MUST THEY CONDUCT ROAD BLOCKS ON A MONDAY!!!
What a bad way to start the week.

Its all the way jam to work. Nevermind.

Its all the way jam back home too!!!

*screams*

I am feeling so stressed up that I came home, cooked two packets of mee. TWO PACKETS!!! I don't eat dinner usually but now TWO PACKETS! Because I am so stressed up!!! Ended up throwing away some, please don't remind me about food wastage. Then I scooped some ice-cream and I still feel like eating!

Stress stress....

Work in KL somemore la!

yucks

2008-07-09T19:12:00.000+08:00

VPL... Oh no.

Totally TACKY!

2008-07-08T19:30:00.003+08:00

I so need to get a SMARTAG.

I think I need to bring first aid bandage to work. I keep cutting my fingers with the papers.

And I realize how bad I am with the opposite sex. I actually blushed like a tomato. I hate that.

un-noticed

2008-07-07T19:48:00.002+08:00

You know you feel like crying

... when that headache won't go away

... when there are so much to do, yet no time!

... when you reach the turning point of your life

... when you just stand amazed at the wonders of God

... when you try slicing onions

... when you are staring at the most beautiful dress

... when lil' children smile at you

... when poor kitty ran flat by cars

... at the thought of your eldest sis getting married!

... when your friends are sad

... when you are broke

... when you listen to emo songs and starts linking them to your life

... when you think of those you have lost

... when you realize how much you miss your best friends

... when you chuck that sushi with lots of wasabi into your mouth

1st week of JULY 2008

2008-07-05T21:16:00.002+08:00

It was a busy week... FINALLY! I had tons of work and I even have to bring some home to do it. No life, I know. But I like the fact that now time in the office pass so fast. Very good. I am highly motivated. I didn't know I am a workaholic *laughs*

So, this weekend is pampering thy-self weekend.

It starts by getting a haircut after I don't know how long... I hate going to the hairdresser's. Then its facial. So I am going to hide myself from everyone else this weekend, just in case something turns out bad. Like my stupid hair now. Stoopid. It looks like shit. Thats why I hate doing anything to my hair.

Oh well, looking forward to Monday. Crazy right, I know. I actually enjoy going work now. But I am awfully broke. I shall stop going for any sales. Perhaps I should refrain myself from getting a credit card too. Sooo sinful!

I want to...

2008-07-04T23:53:00.002+08:00

1. Watch THE DARK KNIGHT.

2. Go AVRIL LAVIGNE's concert!

3. Party...!

4. Go for a holiday. Anywhere. Even if its a one day trip. I just don't want to work. And reminded of work after working hours.

Anyone cares to join me?

Is it?

2008-06-30T21:41:00.000+08:00

They say that falling in love is wonderful
It's wonderful, so they say.
And with a moon up above it's wonderful
It's wonderful, so they tell me.
I can't recall who said it
I know I never read it
I only know that falling in love is grand
And the thing that's known as romance
Is wonderful, wonderful
In every way
So they say

Rumors fly and they often leave without
But you've come to the right place to find out
Ev'rything that you've heard is really so
I've been there once or twice and I should know
You'll find that falling in love is wonderful
It's wonderful, as they say
And with a moon up above it's wonderful
It's wonderful, as they tell you
You'll leave your house a morning
And without any warning
You're stopping people shouting that love is grand
And to hold a man in your arms
Is wonderful, wonderful
In every way

June 25th, 2008

2008-06-25T21:16:00.002+08:00

*smiles*

I got my first case today! After days of pestering and complaining, my boss finally realize my existence! We had a group meeting and finally I was assigned with a mentor. But she left for course. Leaving me all alone to process the case. And it had to be a complicated one too.

Fortunately I have Danny who happened to be sitting just in front of me, only for today because I was terrorizing my mentor's place. Heehee. He didn't have any case and he helped by clarifying certain things.

Finally I feel more productive today.

I need a break. Perhaps I should apply for annual leave. Just to relax and sleep late for once! Nowadays I cannot even sleep past 9am on weekends. BAH. And my boss said we should take more annual leave. For us trainees, there is not much to do. Haha. I have a cool boss.

the box

2008-06-23T20:55:00.002+08:00

You were trying to sleep, like every other night.

Plus it was 2 am plus. Dead tired after a week's long of work. Alongside with friends that couldn't stop entertaining you the whole night long. Yes, awfully tired. By right, you'll grab the pillow and just throw yourself on bed and zonk off.

Somehow, you just couldn't sleep. You kept tossing and turning, hoping your mind will realize that you are actually VERY TIRED. Instead, a gush of memories came rushing back to you and not even a single detail was left out. You open your eyes, trying hard not to focus but betrayed by your heavy eyelids. You became amazed at how much you remember. It was all in a time sequence, from the very beginning till the end of it all.

And you thought you have finally let it go.

And you could only cry yourself to sleep, breaking it all out. Or numb yourself with alcohol.

June 18th

2008-06-18T19:20:00.002+08:00

The weekend was indeed rewarding after a long week of troubling thoughts.

Watched KUNGFU PANDA which was full with AWESOMENESS! *laughs*

Went back to Sg Long for church and met up with a few of them. I also managed to go Bangkok Jazz to sort of like support Elliot and his band with the gang. Apparently, Joel was there too! We only found out the next day. Talk about what a small world! At least I get to meet Bryan just in case I do not see him again before his next flight back.

Sunday was practically my favourite day. LAZY SUNDAY! Literally. I didn't go out but just lie down and flipping tv channels whole day long. I didn't even bother eating. Only had lunch and thats it.

Gee, now that I am working, I can't find much to talk about besides my daily routine. This is so boring.

2008-06-14T00:37:00.002+08:00

To wrap up my weekdays for the week... It has been... pretty depressing.

I was kinda upset the last few days over a particular issue. Its weird sometimes how badly you want something, hoping to get something and not getting it upsets you. What is even weirder is when you want that something and you actually got it, you end up being depressed because you don't know how to make a choice.

So you start by doing what you learnt in school or uni. Divide the pros and cons and come up with alternatives and choose the best choice in the end. That will not work because we humans, especially girls, are driven by feelings, strongly. I couldn't sleep, work, eat because distracted by the issue.

The worst part is, you could not even find anyone to talk to! Your best friend? I don't want to stress him out. Your good friends? I don't want so many people to know about it yet. Its so hard to keep it all inside when you are really drowning yourself in sorrows.

Mr Chuah's retirement dinner was alright. The dessert was good, the rest... no comment. Guess the highlight was when the guys went up to sing You're Beautiful by James Blunt. It was so hilarious when they couldn't reach the note. What to do when you are only a GT?

I am actually starting to enjoy my work more now. I mean, people wise. I am starting to get along with most of them better now including my seniors. My boss is like the coolest dude around. Its all nice but... I do not really like what I am doing. I really don't know what to do.

2008-06-12T19:54:00.001+08:00

How do you handle a bad day?

I supposed through day dreaming, slacking at work, getting lost in traffic... basically like that.

Now I understand why they say, "get a rich husband".

2008-06-10T19:58:00.000+08:00

Weekends just seem to pass by extremely fast when you start working. It used to be casual weekends where I'll slack and not in a hurry to do anything else. I miss those days!

Now I get to see jianyi everyday in the morning for breakfast because he happens to work at the same place with me. I know, what coincidence right? All of a sudden we became best friends. *laughs* This is because back in uni, we hardly talk and never hang out before unless doing CF activities. Weird how God arrange everything His way.

I cannot wait for 25th. BECAUSE my pay will be out then! WooHOO! But shucks, its only the 8th today.

Whats going on for me this week includes meeting up the choreographer for audition. It is for the annual dinner, and we trainees from the Credit Operations Division along with some others have to do performances. I don't get it at all. Is it a sign asking me to join the creative ministry? Coming friday, I will get the chance to mingle more with my seniors and bosses as one of the senior managers are retiring and the dinner is going to be in Renaissance KL. Yumm... I'll be having salmon.

And oh, perhaps some of you may ask how my UOB interview went?

TERUK.COM

I totally crapped too much. Its... a long story. The outcome will be revealed in this week too. Lots of happenings in the coming week. But I think I had a great head start. Started the week off by visiting SIB today and learnt some new stuffs and met new people. Looks like my week might not be that bad after all.

I hate to admit, but I am already missing some of you all, alot. To my juniors, have fun in uni, lepakking without me. Boo. To my friends whether you are working or still searching for a job, all the best and do meet up once in a while yea? And stop asking me to treat you guys. ==

2008-06-06T22:53:00.002+08:00

I slipped and fell in the bathroom.

I know, stupid right?

My left hand hurts a lot. Ughh.

First week of work was boring. Basically reading and understanding the job scope. Sad to say, I do not really like the job. Oh, I don't know. I am trying to convince myself to be ignorant. The people are really nice, everyone of them. Its just that... *sighs*

1st June, 9.26pm

2008-06-01T21:24:00.002+08:00

I want to do kindergarden all over again.

Please tell me this is not happening.

*cries*

13th-19th MAY 2009

2008-06-01T01:05:00.008+08:00

MISSION TRIP TO Kampung Pahlawan, LANGKAP, PERAK

Warning: Photos are in a mess and not in order due to my nature =)

the kids with their coloured prayer chain

with pastor tan, the man behind the transformation of this village used by God

the team

outside the church which was our home for a week

My arm, which was bitten by mosquitoes

It was house visitations and we bumped into some kids, and they kept following us!

with brother ramasamy, our host for the lovely dinner prepared orang asli style

the team in charged of Children Ministry consisting Desmond, moi and Sin Hoong

the chicks were sooo cute!

the younger kids praying

and we are called to have childlike faith.

one of the sister churches in Gopeng

having one of our "budget" breakfast

one of the "manja"-est cat around

the rubber estate

the main church where the main service is usually held. also turned out to be our bedroom. we actually had mattresses! got to be the best mission trip ever.

our lawn *laughs*

I had one of the best times ever in the mission trip. It was my first time serving in Children Ministry and I actually had to do a story telling. It was so funny. Desmond wrote the script and it was supposed to be angin kencang. Instead, I said angin KENCING. And yes, the kids laughed. Malunya... I am never good with kids. Even last time during VBS back in Ipoh, I almost want to strangle this boy. Somehow, I was forced to mix with the kids and it was tough at first as they were quite shy. Then after some time, they became friendly and much easier to play with them.
I learnt so much and I do not really know how to put everything into words. Looking at the orang asli community on how they live their lives, it made me think about my own life. It is this point in my life where I have to make choices that will mark my path for the future. I am still pretty much the same just that I learn to see things from a different perspective and being simple sometimes is actually the easiest.

2008-05-27T18:29:00.001+08:00

What happens when memories of the past comes haunting you?

Run?

I am losing out of breath soon.

I AM SOOO IN LOVE WITH...

2008-05-12T22:51:00.001+08:00

Leona Lewis's HERE I AM

And I won't be hearing it for a week... Ish.

All your fault Janice. =p

2008-05-11T01:52:00.004+08:00

I spilled my jar of moisturizer!!!!!!!!!!

*screams again and again*

I really no money to buy another one *cries*

I need to get a job, fast! So I will have the money to support my stomach, my addiction in shopping and also for facial treatments! That reminds me, my cleanser is "habis-ing".

Ladies and gentlemen, I am officially broke. So please, do not call me to go out for drinks or meals, unless its your treat because I cannot afford that lifestyle. At least wait till I worked for three months? Means I will not have social life for three months? *wails*

Do you think I'll be working in June? I hope so. Really.

Call me kiasu.

I've sent out resumes that I should have done long ago. I only did it today because I finally have a bit of time to do so. However, I still have HSBC and CIMB to send out to. I was lazy to write a proper cover letter so end up decide to send it later on. Fortunately, they have four intakes. Hahaha... And I'm seriously hoping to join Accenture, if I cannot get UOB. Why? Ask me and I shall tell you then =) But really, it is all good.

I'll probably be away for a while. So, hopefully the next time, there will be pictures and more pictures on my disappearance!

some last pictures before leaving Sg Long

2008-05-10T12:34:00.002+08:00

2008-05-06T00:30:00.001+08:00

*cries*

I have to try doing my devotion with this!

Monday, May 5th 2008, 1.45am

2008-05-05T01:39:00.003+08:00

Hooked to this song:

SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME

My morning starts to shine with teardrops in my eyes
And here I am alone starting to realize
That my days would be brighter
If I could learn to hide
The feelings that I have for you
Keep hurting me inside

Then my day begins with simple thoughts of you
Hoping that tomorrow will be me and you
Sharing dreams with each other
And making them come true
Holding one another
Saying "all I need is you"

But will you say that you love me
And show me that you care
Say when I need you
You will always be there
But if you go and leave me
This I swear is true
My love will always be with you

Now my nights would end with just one wish, that's you
To hold me in the dark and help me make it through
cause the pain that's inside me
Would simply melt away
If I had you here with me
And promise me you'd stay

But will you say that you love me
And show me that you care
Say when I need you
You will always be there
But if you go and leave me
This I swear is true
My love will always be with you

(instrumental)

But will you say that you love me
And show me that you care
Say when I need you
You will always be there
But if you go and leave me
This I swear is true
My love will always
My love will always be with you

2008-05-03T21:08:00.002+08:00

So here I am, a graduating student. Note that I said graduatING, it is because I haven't receive my transcript and the rest. I was one of the few many that finished our last paper earliest. Weird, considering the fact that our papers have always been extended throughout the whole exam period.

How was it, doing the last paper for the last time as an undergraduate? Well, nothing extraordinary, really. It was Malaysian Economy, simply means memorize it well and getting an A is not a problem at all. Turns out, it is definately not my kind of subject. I hope I can at least get a B. I wasn't feeling jumpy when it ended, something I thought I will do. However, I did had a great time listening to Eric Li's jazz trio and am currently in that jazzy and swing mood. Reality sinks in quite fast, knowing that I am no longer a full-time student. I don't like that feeling at all. Not because of knowing I have to work full-time, more of knowing how much I am going to miss my 3 years here.

Packing up my room, looking at the amount of clothes that piled up since I first came, makes me realized how much I have changed. Not only in sense of fashion, but also the person inside me. So many memories. I wished I had jot down everything in a journal and I could just relive those memories again. I tried, wrote for a month or so, then decided to stop because reading back could be heartbreaking then. Now, I wished I did not think so!

I am trying to look forward to my future which I am excited because I am going to another level in my life. Scared but definately looking forward. My coming plans:

Mission Trip Preparation: 7th-12th May
Mission Trip: 13th-19th May (Please pray that I'll survive =p)
Perhentian Trip with classmates: 20th-22nd May
Wedding Dinner: 23rd May

Pretty pack for the month huh? I am contemplating whether I should try out for the media job that was offered to me. Its gonna be pretty different from what I have been doing. But something inside of me say I should go out and meet people, do things out of my comfort zone. Well, see how.

Anyways, IRONMAN was the bomb.

SHARIZAN was as usual, hilarious. I am loving jazz performances day by day. Support local performers~!

2008-04-27T11:36:00.000+08:00

Sunday, April 27, 2008

2.56am

I couldn’t sleep. Probably it is because of the Teh Tarik.

Chaihong asked me to share in the coming Saturday service. Since I am wide awake, so I decided to give some thought on what to share. Conclusion: No idea still.

I do not really know actually. I wouldn’t say I grow much in the Lord these past few years. Yes, I became actively involved in CF and church but on a personal level, I am not sure. I did many things, MANY, that pull me away from HIM and I am still struggling to get back to HIM everyday. It sort of made me think a lot about what made me into the me now. I used to be that girl who will blush when a guy smiles at me, cute ones la of course, have long-term crushes, shy to speak but when I speak, it was all nonsense. Literally. It gets embarrassing when I talk because it doesn’t make sense and because it was my teenager years, I was very self-conscious and no confidence at all.

If you would know me when I was then, comparing to the me now, you would probably say it’s a huge difference. I don’t really remember exactly what happened, but I think it was because of some remark, I started to evaluate myself seriously. It took me some time, to listen and observe the people around me. Gradually I changed into someone else. JaniceTay, who was away at KTJ came back once and asked me.

“You were LOUD once. What happened to you?”

Yes, that was one of my traits then. I was very very self-conscious, making sure I do not do anything wrong or say anything wrong. I wanted people to like me. It wasn’t all that bad. I learned to listen to others and not barging into an on-going conversation. As I grew older, somehow, I picked up skills to be brave to talk in front of people, worship leading and also leading others in certain activities.

However, my confidence really started to build up in Form Six. I used to talk to people and avoid looking at them because I was afraid they will look through me. Silly, but it was the truth. Coming to UTAR was a confidence boost. It is really pleasant to have people looking up to you because my language is slightly stronger and I dare to talk compared to the rest. However, it gets tedious at times because people expect you to perform better due to my better understanding in language. Sorry la… I am never an A+ student. Always have been an average student.

So what am I really made of? I was hurt, jeered at, laughed at, humiliated and lots more. It took me a long way to stand up again to learn life’s lesson. Looking back, I am glad it all happened. I was broken and I have God all the way to hold me up and I hope, forever.

2008-04-25T14:36:00.002+08:00

I realized many are not updating their blogs. Too caught up with work, probably.

I had one of the worst papers ever earlier. It was scary as it was my first time taking exam on a subject I hardly understand. Weird enough, it was the only subject I attend everytime this semester. Subject itu bernama GLOBAL FINANCE. International subjects are really not my kind of subjects. The last time I did INTERNATIONAL TRADE, I got a C. Boo.

I still have many things left to settle. Yet to have a post-mortem on the camp, which I cannot find a weekend off for it. Then there is this article I promised to Sis Lydia. And the same ol', same ol', job applications.

I miss going out. I played too hard before exams and now all I want to do is play. And I am shifting out from Sg.Long in less than a week.

*screams*

Crazy when I think of it. My very first day here and now is time to leave. It sure didn't feel like its been 3 years. I supposed its obvious how much I grew in size and age! To look back at all that happened here, those incidents are probably the ones that I will remember for the rest of my life. Its been a good stay here, though it did have its ups and downs.

Anyways, I can't wait for what is ahead for me! Pretty excited. Do keep me in your prayers ya.

23rd MAY to 30th MAY

2008-03-30T13:23:00.006+08:00

Ah, a new week ahead!
My past week has been, crazy because I was too free... Heh.

FAM NITE

I am lazy to upload the rest :)

It was okay, considering I was late. Thanks to the people who managed to drag a few of us and just have fun on the dance floor. Great job guys! I had fun! For more details, check out janiceloke's site.

UOB MANAGEMENT ASSOCIATE PROGRAMME
I am invited to go! WOO-HOO! I hope I'll see some familiar faces there. I am scared. Its a whole full day and I have to pass through two phases before I proceed to the third one after lunch. I better start doing my revision on my calculations. Darn.

ENGLISH PRESENTATION
Took less than 30 minutes to finish slides and script. Yes, I had a script! Ended up as one of the few people who got questioned during the presentation. Sheesh. I am glad that is over now.

MAGHERITAS!
Yep, CHILLIs and it was only one glass of magherita. Haha... I wished I had more. But due to the fact I was getting red and counting the calories, next time maybe. Although, I'm up for it ANYTIME!

Basically, that wraps up my week. Nothing much but a pretty blessed week. Going to be busy preparing for camp but I still want to have fun and spend time as much as I can with the peeps in sg long. I better get myself fit for all these hectic activities.

tantrums

2008-03-21T00:16:00.002+08:00

I am exhausted. All of a sudden there seems to be so many things waiting for me to do.
I couldn't believe how free I was earlier on and now things come to me all at once.

CAMP
It wasn't supposed to be a problem. The advisers were not satisfied and thus, endless lectures. I am doing almost everything myself and I definitely do not like those disapproving look. I am also mad because I have to do my secretary's job and I hate secretarial work!

STUDIES
I do not understand what is going on with my lectures nowadays. I tried my best to listen, to understand but something is still missing. I need help and time to tidy my notes.

MY APPLICATION TO UOB
I have to send two short essays back to UOB by monday and I have no idea what to write. Describe your non-academic performance? Do I have one? How am I supposed to reflect everything back in merely two days! If I pass this, I will have to attend the careers forum and then ONLY I will get called for interviews, IF I PASS. Is this really what I want?

FAM NIGHT
I wished I am not going. Thats why I don't have more time to think what to write. ARGH.

ALLIE, THE BUNNY
My new pet. I don't have time to give TLC. Cleaning up her poo is time consuming enough. She have to keep jumping up and down in her cage. I'm just worried she might hurt herself.

PEOPLE
So many questions, so little answers. How to keep a balanced social life, and a happy one.

MY BODY
I am so unhealthy. If i go for a full body check up, definitely a goner. I seriously believe there is something wrong inside. Too much stress probably.

I am in many ways like my bunny. I need TLC. Especially now. I am trying to get all I can.

screams

2008-03-03T21:57:00.000+08:00

SHES ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its been a while

2008-02-23T23:53:00.002+08:00

I miss WORLD WIDE WEB!

After not being able to online properly for so long, it feels good to be able to search for things I want.

I know, I sound like someone who has been under a nutshell for the longest time.

But I really do feel that way!

So much had happened and I don't know how to sum it all up. Oops.

And I am feeling LAZY. Again.

towards the end of JANUARY

2008-02-01T01:07:00.001+08:00

Martial Arts Night (pictures a bit fail, so sorry)

We were there, the day before our VIVA (pronounced as vai-va) which is our thesis presentation. All because of HIM.

Never a martial arts fan, but there weren't much martial arts too. Conned. Colin Chong, ladies and gentlemen.

Then we rushed home, after dinner cum supper of course. Got ready our short notes and we were all prepared. Kind of.

The infamous group that slept the most during the thesis period. Heh.
Few pictures I managed to take, missed taking some with other mates. Left too early. Oh well, always next time!

2008-01-24T15:15:00.000+08:00

I'm tired!!!

Of so many things.

I never understand. Why is it always workload comes to you at a certain period of time, and other times, too much free time! I want a balance. That way, I don't think I'll age too fast, physically.

Anyways, met some interesting people yesterday. Joni got voted out. Boo. She looked awesome, the best after so many performances. She wore a nice dress. I like. Heh. Then totally spent the rest of the day with her.

rushing thesis

2008-01-20T10:56:00.000+08:00

2008-01-17T14:52:00.000+08:00

*if anyone of you are having problems viewing my blog, please view it using morzilla firefox. Internet Explorer fails me all the time*

My thesis is due next week and I am yet to start. Its crazy I know. Problems seem to rolling down every time we are almost done. Well, I am still very rest assured that God will provide. Of course I will not sit down and wait for a book of thesis to drop down from heaven.

*God, can YOU do that? please?*

Anyways, life is good at the moment. I just wish I am more financially stable and I have more free time. But all is good. God is such a provider and He became so real especially during the busy period of mine.

My battery is running low. Ish.

And to leave a note to jiajin, I am waiting for my gummy bears~! And please, the beer flavor ones :)

2oo8

2008-01-10T14:41:00.000+08:00

My first entry for 2008!

Yay...

=_="

The year started off pretty well. With lots of booze. The whole week. ^^
And there was camp! With BAD food.

I just do not feel like writing. Thesis is making my life more depressed. Day by day. Zzzz...
I'll blog more the next time.

Promise.

2007-12-31T11:16:00.000+08:00

Its the last day of 2007!
WHERE are you PARTYING tonight?

I am at *sobs* the miserable office in midvalley. Looks like the party here tonight is going to be HUGE. It probably be the same everywhere.
For a whooping rm75.
No thanks.
I'll prefer to pay more and have dinner and music at Alexis.
Unfortunately, that is not going to happen.

How are you going to spend your New Year's Eve?
Shop for last minute bargains? (is there such thing?)
Or maybe do what everyone else is doing, reminiscing what you should have done and should not?
I think I'll prefer to look ahead and make resolutions!

Resolutions for 2008
1. Keeping them!
2. Love myself MORE
3. Quit saying words like "shit", "damn" and "STUPID" (too negative & addictive)
4. Be healthy, workout more
5. Save money
6. Adopt a better sense of style ( I hate wardrobe malfunctions)
7. Do my part in this world (whatever it may be)
8. Treat my family and friends BETTER
9. Be humble
10. Get thin!

Gee, sounds difficult to me. Heh.

LET THERE BE LOVE

Let there be you,

Let there be me

Let there be oysters

Under the sea

Let there be wind,

An occasional rain

Chile con carne,

Sparkling champagne

Let there be birds

To sing in the trees

Someone to bless me

Whenever I sneeze

Let there be cuckoos.

A lark and a dove,

But first of all, please

Let there be love

Let there be cuckoos.
A lark and a dove,
But first of all, please
Let there be love

Hmmm umm... love

Let there be love.

Spread some love y'all!

Have a blasting NEW YEAR!

2007-12-30T23:12:00.000+08:00

By request...

Today I talked to lengchai kahkian a.k.a RUBY on msn.

I wish I am a geek. I absolutely NO idea how to fix a new template. Hence, it became what it is now.
HELP!

2007-12-30T13:51:00.000+08:00

Browsing through old pictures and also TRIED arranging them, I noticed how much I changed with the people around me. Why am I talking about me? Sheesh.

I thought I have many VAIN male friends.
Until I met you.
You must be crowned with vanity.
Heh ^^ (dun kill me 1st yet!)

Its fun crapping with you, sharing certain interests together (I still do not like canto-pop and maple story) and of course the time spent together eating, chasing HEROES week-by-week. Oh yeah, I remember THAT. I guess theres too much to list down.

Looking at the pictures, we've changed so much! Not only appearances, but also the inside us. I do think we changed for the better :)

As we are getting closer to graduation, whatever the future may holds for you, I wish that all will go well for you in everything you do.

I hate doing birthday wishes. I am always lost for words.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR HO SWEE WAI!!!!!!!!!!

ipoh, christmas, kids, ice-cream, durian

2007-12-29T21:26:00.000+08:00

Yes, I went back to Ipoh, as mentioned earlier. I was supposed to come back to KL earlier, but oh well, last minute changes.

I might sound a bit depressed previously, but FEAR NOT. I am alright, probably because of the air in Ipoh together with a couple of mini anger management session at home.

It was CHRISTMAS! Not as exciting compared to previous years but it was great meeting you guys back home~ Christmas drama was different this year. The cast mainly consists of kids from the children church. It was about this little angel boy called "Hark". If you remember one of the christmas carols, Hark The Herald... well yes, thats the one. He was cute, wonder whose kid. Chubby with specs. The typical cheeky boy! I am no fan of children but looking at them reminds you of how much God wants us to have child-like faith, believing Him when things go wrong. Ahh.

The gang grew smaller this time back home. Most of them are not around probably because church service started as early as 8pm when most families will have their Christmas gatherings and dinners. We were definately outnumbered by the youth. No group pictures this year because somehow, no one remembers to bring a camera ^^ We went ahead to our usual spot, where there are ample parking space and most importantly, AIR-CON. Sidewalk is always filled with families or friends who just want to chill and have ice-cream at the same time. It always have that homey feel, but they got to do something about their service. Well, Ipoh. You don't find stand-alone Baskin Robbins or Haagen Daaz, too commercialized.

As the night was still early, we decided to taste the durian that fell down on gshyn's garden. He claimed it can FEED THE NATION. I have not tasted durian for a long time, mainly because I am lazy and I eat too slow. Stupid reason. Heh. The rest of them watched football replays and you can see me there, trying very hard to look interested. I wouldn't want to be a cold blanket until shaun asked. Gee, I didn't know it was that obvious. So, thats how we ushered in Christmas Day, the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ.

The rest of the days? Sleepy afternoons and sleepless nights. Hooked on AFC almost the whole day. Impromptu karaoke session after midnight. I feel so broke. And yumcha and yumcha.

By the way, the newly renovated Jusco is confusing. I couldn't find Guardian. =.=

joni tham chi won

2007-12-21T14:29:00.000+08:00

Its fun hanging out with you.

After almost 5 years.

Although you bored me with your philosophic talk, but I did listen!

Its great that even though we hardly keep in touch, it proves that we don't really need to because we can still talk so much.

I am so proud with the fact that you are on your way pursuing your dreams.

I do realize however, we haven't took a single picture since we were 17.

We do SERIOUSLY need to take at least one before you leave to Penang or Singapore.

I had to steal this from the ONE IN A MILLION website

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
All the best for tonight's show!

I"LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!

2007-12-20T20:51:00.000+08:00

I'm dreaming tonight of a place I love
Even more than I usually do
And although I know it's a long road back
I promise you

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents by the tree

Christmas eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please have some snow and mistletoe
And presents by the tree

Christmas eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams
If only in my dreams

*Michael Buble's version

2007-12-20T00:26:00.000+08:00

So what would you do when one fine day, you discovered a friend whom you put so much trust on, only to realize that you do not really know this person after all?

What would you do if you struggle to believe everything you know about this person, only to remember that previous incidents forced you to go astray?

What would you do when people keep feeding stories into your head and you start to doubt the sincerity of this person?

What would you do when a little voice in head urged you to believe?

What would you do when your heart beats to believe that everything happened was a lie, everything you learn to care for is not real at all?

What would you do when you actually believe because believing is so much easier than being hurt?

What would you do, if you are me?

fishes into pigs? O_o

2007-12-17T10:19:00.000+08:00

Remember the story of Jesus with 5 loaves of bread and er... was it a basket of bread and 5 fishes?

Yes, its that one where He performed a miracle by feeding thousands with just the limited supply of food at ______ (I am BAD in bible knowledge). This is also one of the stories that remind us not to worry about our lives as long as we put our trust and hang on to Him.

BUT have you heard the other story about Jesus with bread and PIGS? It happened in Suzhou, China apparently.

According to this:

december blues

2007-12-14T14:59:00.000+08:00

I want premier tickets to National Treasure II.

But I got a paper on Wednesday.

*wails*

And I am too kiasu to ask my colleague for it.

I realized, sadly, JUST realized movie tickets are so costly. At least RM10 per ticket. Its actually not so bad but if you would take time to count the number of times you've been in the cinema, WHOA, thats a lot of money.

I want free movie tickets because there are so many good movies out end of the year. It happens every year and everytime I am broke, especially in December. Thats why you will not see me participating any Christmas sales that sort. Yes, I may just bought some stuffs earlier on, BUT ITS NOT THE SAME.

Anyways, had a paper yesterday which I think at least 40% filled with care-FREE answers, 30% of tell-it-like-my-own, and 20% accuracy. I hope I got my statistics right. I still have that Moral paper coming up which I do not intend to revise until the day before. I've already got warnings about the difficulty of the paper but I am just not bothered. In fact, it happens to be the most unlikable subject on my list.

Yes, I am IMMORAL.

I've been craving for mexican food for the longest time. I must HAVE it!

In the meantime, I bid adieu. I need to fantasize myself having it. Sounds nuts, but yeah. I have nothing else better to do.

2007-12-14T00:41:00.000+08:00

I want to do so many things.

I want to re-do my collage on the top here. Want to put in more recent pictures. Its getting boring.
I wanna say more, but I am tired. *yawns*

Probably more in the morning, while at work. HEH.

2007-12-10T23:49:00.001+08:00

What happen to the good old days when drama series are not so complicated?

What happen to good dramas like ER?

Now, producers probably cooked up some scheme to ensure that you get addicted episode by episode and when you thought it was climax, BOOM! Its the last episode of the season.

Ohh... I just hate it when that happens. What am I talking about? It just did! Yes, I am talking about HEROES. How can they just end the whole season with episode 11? Boo.

Probably due to the writers' strike in America. Still.

live is definately different compared to TV

2007-12-10T10:33:00.000+08:00

It was my first time driving to shah alam to go to tv3 sri pentas 2 for one in a million, top 12. As I have never really been there before, it was therefore a foreign land. I had to google the map (which was not helpful at all) and made calls for directions. So, I dragged leeping along as we were supposed to have dinner together to go for it.

Why was I there? A good friend of mine made it into top20 and she kills me if I don't show up this time. Er, previously when she was in ATQ '07, I sort of ffk her many times. Since I was free, why not? She asked us to be there by 7pm, but heh, I started my journey only at that time.

It was a tough ride considering the mild jam at federal highway and after a few wrong turns, we finally reach there, 15 minutes before 8pm. We took the 15 minutes searching and asking where is sri pentas and all and it seemed we were just in time before they close the door. As usual, Malaysian timing, they never seem to start on time. We waited and waited with stupid spotlights shining on us. I actually wonder will I get darker once the whole thing is over.

I had no idea why the dude placed us with supporters of another contestant and not bring us to our designated seats. You see, usually they segregate the seats for different contestant. We ended up with a bunch of Sarawakians, or Sabah-ians, I don't know, sitting in front of us, and they are huge people. With shades.

Joni sang a song by Juwita and she chose a contemporary gospel song. She sang she purposely chose this but no time to explain to me why. Guess its just a way to glorify God and she nailed it! We were so excited waiting for her turn and she kept trying to see where we are. Must be a shocker to her when she cannot detect us.

The whole thing ended quite late. We both have work the next morning but have to wait for her because of picture taking of the top12. Then finally came the part where she said "Hey, don't go back first. They want to interview you guys". *sweats*

After many protests, we were dragged to do it and honestly, I really didn't know what to say. I mean, I haven't been hanging out with her since we were 17 and I don't really know how it has been for her. So there, I blew it. My first chance on TV and it was horrible. Sobs.

Anyways, do keep her in your prayers and DO vote for her =)

And oh, did I mention, shes the only chinese in the top12?

2007-12-08T19:23:00.000+08:00

I want a pet. Really. After The Golden Compass.

Not DAEMON, but a PET.

Especially this.

2007-12-07T09:30:00.000+08:00

He walked in with his mate, with popcorn and all sort of junk.

Seriously, why would you need so much snack for a movie?

He sat down and lifted both feet up on the chair and smells like something DIED in there.

*yawns* When are the trailers coming out?

*lights dimmed*

Shoez: You ja popcorn nak?

Jaded: HUH? (literally, couldn't even catch a word he is trying to say)

Shoez: You nak popcorn tak?

Jaded: (giving the polite look) No, thank you.

He continued making lots of noise and shook the chair which happen to shook mine too throughout the whole movie.

=_="

jingle bell rocks!

2007-12-04T23:06:00.000+08:00

It was 24th NOVEMBER 2007.

Christian Fellowship of Faculty of Accountancy and Management aka FAM organized a christmas "musical" nite for the first time. Preparation took basically the whole semester, from planning, getting approval, fund-raising, doing decorations, practices, scouting for costumes and finally to the day itself. It took a lot of our time, sacrificing time with friends but God made it for the better by building better relationships among the CF-ians! I miss hanging out with my friends but I supposed its just different.

Anyways, it was my first time acting on stage and learning the dance moves in less than 5 days. Heh. By God's grace, everything was fine on the performance night itself even though practices sucked big time.

One of the many trees

the gigantic cane and fireplace

The stage on the night itself...

With the decorations on the ceiling

the "giant" christmas tree for backdrop

Polly, the drama director

Justin as Calvin Klein

Jacy, one of the "ornaments" & my ex-assistant

SukTeng, one of the carollers

The drama team

The ones behind it all

For more videos or pictures, click here.

broke and broken

2007-12-03T15:21:00.000+08:00

I had tickets for Live & Loud to see Whitney Houston, Elliot Yamin... but I couldn't go because my parents were here. Why were they here? To celebrate my mom's belated birthday. Talk about BAD timing.

Sunday was awesome. I was at FJ Benjamin sale!!! I got lingerie for you-wouldn't-believe-it and shirts from Raoul. Lingerie was soo cheap and my colleague, Veronica actually got like a year supply of them. =_=" I wished I had her stamina, but I couldn't. Crowd was too big.

That's it. I am broke. I am only left with money that is enough to last me probably two weeks inclusive of food. I think, if I survive on Gardenia bread loaf only.

I've been depressed the past few weeks, still feeling the aftermath. I am not sure why I had the depression but probably it was contributed by many factors. I was very busy those past few weeks. Lack of good sleep, haven't been eating well, and a thang of loneliness. It was Ps Chris who mentioned before what it means to be "broken people". They are simply people whose lives are broken due to their past, their experiences which was so painful that it totally turn their lives around. I am afraid becoming like them. These are the people where you need to shower them with love and care, which I wouldn't mind doing. But if one day, I am one of them, will I get such treatment from friends and family or will they just shun me?

I remember myself once shying away from friends, and turned out not many of them actually cared. Sad, but its true. Some people will only include you in their lives if your presence is seen. If you just stop hanging out with them, they probably don't even notice you are gone.

Probably I should look ahead and enjoy this holiday before I join the employment team. I mean, it will get worse when you start working. So why bother moping over petty issues like these?

Confused, yours truly

2007-11-30T22:41:00.000+08:00

Short crops are so cool.

I want short hair.

Which would mean I'll have to buy wax and style it everytime I go out.

But I'll be using less shampoo/conditioner/mask... HhhHmmmm

Forget it.

I prefer to buy more shampoo than putting effort to style.

Nice, but definately not for LAZY people like me.

Same goes for permed hair-do.

Study week is finally here!!! After a tiring and boring semester, I can't help but to be glad that I do not have to go uni and listen to those fail.com lectures. Skipped classes extremely a lot mainly because
1. I prefer to lepak at the CF booth
2. Work
3. my beauty sleep

Heh. Life is blissful INDEED.

cars with ribbons

2007-11-18T00:08:00.000+08:00

It must have been an auspicious day. Wait, is auspicious the right word? Bah.

As I was heading off to work, there are so MANY cars decorated with ribbons and teddies. Weddings, obviously. I do actually had a church wedding to attend but because I am LAZY to drive all the way back to kajang, I ended up going for work instead.

I am so sick of driving. Thats why I love weekends in kota damansara here. Thats the only time my car rests.

Everyone have been asking about plans after graduation. The subject is such a bore but sort of make you face the reality. Looking at the way our country is at the moment with election issues and all, it just kinda make you wish that you can just get out of the country till things get settled down. Then according to a not-so-reliable source, petrol price is going to increase about 70cents next year. 70CENTS.

Jobs. Its my last semester next year and that is the time where most people will start scouting for job opportunities. Being the kiasu me, I'll probably join in the crowd. Unless all of a sudden I decide to join the education field and maybe life will not be so stressful then. UNFORTUNATELY... I am not a teacher. A definite no-no.

Admist all my dreams and wishes for the future, sadly, I do see myself with workwear, hidden somewhere in an office cubicle, tons of paperwork and get stuck in the jam everyday. Gosh, does that mean my life is going to be like that till I meet someone and get married? There must be more than this, right? Everyone wants to live an exciting life and I am one of them. I don't want to grow old doing routine work and getting nothing out of it in the end.

Perhaps I should start considering a 3-month mission trip to CHINA. Hmm, there got good food.
Arghh. I really need to work on my vision in life.

Stop being self-pity, WONG SUK MUN!

2007-11-16T11:18:00.000+08:00

Its been almost a month since I last wrote. And that was a BAD day. Sheesh.

First thing I saw. Ms Lee found my blog. Hello to you.

I need to go on a holiday. A long one. Preferably overseas and remain there. I don't want to come back. I am being anti-social. I do not want to talk to anyone. I want to hibernate for months. Brr.

2007-10-23T18:54:00.000+08:00

Lonely.

A word that is detest by many. Sometimes this word became a taboo, where people wouldn't even dare to say this word. People like me.

Its a feeling where it makes you feel that you are the worst person on earth. Simply because you are alone and no one is beside you, not even a single person.

Another scenario would be eventhough there are many people around you, care for you, there is still this tinge feeling of loneliness. I am very blessed to have others being concern about me. However, the feeling once again creep in and make you realize, the ones that concern about you, are just not the people you wish them to be.

camps

2007-10-17T09:45:00.000+08:00

I've just came back from two camps, and no I do not have any pictures to post. This is what happen when you do not own a camera. Sheesh. CF camp was good. The food, environment and people! One of the best camps ever. Too much to tell and I am lazy to blog it all out. If you wanna know more, check out Bernard's blog. Next, I went to Alor Gajah which is about 20 minutes from Malacca for a leader's retreat from KAOG. We went to this place called "El Sanctuary" where "EL" means God. Its a nice place with chalets and this is the first camp where I get to eat good food. We had BBQ for the first night with lamb, chicken, fish and good salad. Breakfast was good also with pancakes served with banana caramel. Dinner was spaghetti with mussels and prawns. Meals just got better every time. Seriously, you can never find such good food for camps and its rm60 per day. Hah. I paid only rm100 because church subsidize some of it.

Anyways, had some workshops where we did personality tests, the infamous D.I.S.C. And boy, guess what am I. A high "I" and "C". How is that possible? All these while I've always been a high "S". Now, apparently I do not even have a "S" which means submissive. Haha, I am not submissive to my authorities. However, this done focusing on ministry, so probably its different. And because of this, I was appointed to organize the annual camp next year. A bunch of bullies, I'll say. It will be my final semester and they find so many things for me to do. Must be a trap asking me to go for the camp.

Looks like its going to be a really busy semester with part-time job, studies, thesis, planning for the camp and also CF's christmas musical. I have to act. Can't believe I let Polly drag me into it. I shall try my very best not to regret.

selamat hari raya

2007-10-13T22:14:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya folks!
I wanna eat rendang and malay delicacies. All sums up to one word: FAT

You might think that KL roads will be "kosong kereta" and free from kesesakan orang. You are wrong! No difference at all. Looks like the chinese and indian population here is fairly big. Had a hearty brekkie with pork, namely BAK KUT TEH. Its nearby sunway and its actually not bad. A bit tad salty, though. Checked out the 2nd phase of sunway pyramid. NOTHING SPECIAL. A waste of time. However, I did manage to get a shirt, cheap cheap. Heh.

Once the weekend pass, classes will start. Boo. Got my timetable and I do not have any days off. Double boo. And monday is tutorial. Boooooooo~ Can I just live in denial? Shoo to those thoughts. I actually have some plans ahead. *laughs*

Malacca tomorrow and mambo jambo on wednesday! Yes, I am living in denial!

2007-10-12T09:21:00.000+08:00

Yet another morning of reckless driving along the every winding KERINCI LINK, where cars, BIGGER cars rushed to wherever they need to go like nobody's business. Me, who happened to be pretty early and sleepy at the same time stayed at the left lane and drive slowly, dreaming at the same time, like nobody's business. Heh. Probably due to the tomyam seafood pasta, chicken chop and the roast chicken salad. Part of supper. You can find it all at the famed SEED cafe. Not too bad, surprisingly.

Kicked off the morning with a cup of 3-in-1 Milo Mocha which tasted like dilluted coffee with lots and lots of sugar. Bleh. I am supposed to be on a strict diet. Those kind which is free from sugar, alcohol and anything that is bad. Pretty tough actually.

Dell is just so stupid. Apparently today is my last day to extend my warranty. Well, I did that on wednesday and that operator said she will call me back to confirm. Did she? NO. I had to call again the next day only to find out she is on leave and nobody can do anything since it is her case. How stupid is that? And now my phone battery is extremely low, which means if she calls today... GRRRR... If they do not extend my warranty for stupid reasons, I am just going to call them and scold until they do with the extra charges. Yes, I will do just that. Hopefully my dad doesn't call. Its weird sometimes, I actually told him I cannot talk long because my phone is low on batt, and he asked, "How come? You didn't bring charger along?" Duh, dad.