As my days passed by, the more I wonder whether am I in the right place, doing the right thing. I do have doubts of myself whether am I in the field that I can excel in. I do take pride in a lot of things but at the same time, I am not as smart, as hardworking as the rest of them. I just don't see where I belong. I just can't seem to understand the accounts, the reason behind every term and also the way to analyze it. I don't know whether is it because I refuse to think or I just couldn't.

Looking at the way the market is now, is financial services really my cup of tea? Or maybe I should just do things that doesn't require me to think so much. What I mean by not thinking so much is that I do not have to know how to derive this figure and fundamentals of it and bla bla. Maybe I should join HR, since I prefer to meet people more. Or I should just sell credit cards where I just learn about the product and think of ways to sell it. I am not saying these jobs are easier. Its just that I am a very people-oriented kind of person. Maybe hanging out too much with financials is driving me crazy. Man, now I kinda wish I did accountancy instead. Life would probably be so much easier.

Back to the current market situation. Its pretty scary how we see banks in Malaysia itself holding back from new loans and even recruiting new trainees. Even doing annual reviews on the current customers requires much more attention than ever before. Which is pretty terrifying as I am so GREEN to the industry and I actually have to do it. Retrenchment probably will not happen (I hope!) as Asian banks are naturally more conservative. However, we are definately going to be influenced in some way. Its going to be a bad year and everyone will agree to it. So will next year.

I am in fact fearful as I realize the importance of savings. Like they say, CASH is king at times like these. Very real indeed.